Winter Family

Healing

2009-05-20T16:58:00.001-07:00

Here we are May the 20th and I hope and pray my husband will be home in 8 days--that's the plan. As I sit and reflect on the past 2 1/2 months I do have a lot to be thankful for but believe me when I tell you its been hard. Everything seems so much bigger with Steve gone. I feel like a single parent all over again. The unknowns of so many things, not being able to call him or talk to him as he is in a dangerous place. Trying to do the right things on this end and have my heart in the right places to find myself being a victim ....to losing a dog....to losing one of my jobs..to breaking my pinkie toe on my left foot--to worrying about Connor ..to having my daughter be a HUGE help thank God she is home for now..to people stepping up that I had no idea would...to family calling,sending cards, being an ear an shoulder..to my sister sending a t-shirt a card and a sticker just because she wanted to do something extra to make me smile...its been a long few months but through it all there was good and there was bad. Welcome to reality right? I think I am stronger because of it all and I am looking at this time frame now with just 8 days to go as a healing time for me. I reflect and I heal.I know God wanted this time for me to be positive and to be a growing time for me. Through His Grace I will set FREE and I can see the light now at the end of the tunnel. The end is near and I thank God for all the prayers as the bottom line is that is what is truly most important.I want to now make my relationships from good to great. I just started reading this book--Five-Star Families moving from good to great. All the Mother's got one at my church. Family means..people who love you and give you room to grow. Family is the foundation in which we build our lives. Know where you are headed and you will stay on solid ground-Prov.4:26. Family means being who you are and getting away with it. Family means knowing you are on the same team. Family is people who know your faults and chose to love you anyway.Family means knowing someone is in your corner.Family means you never feel left out. Family is our first experience of love that ultimately connects us to the world. Family means never feeling alone no matter how far away you are. Family are the heartbeat of your life. Family is where God teaches you about his love. Family means you are apart of something bigger than you.
'The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love: Gal 5:6. Family is a soft place to land. Let the healing begin......................

I am feeling low

2009-05-02T06:56:00.000-07:00

Its hard to believe I haven't blogged since March the 27th---here we are May the 2nd and Steve is still gone. I miss him so much!!!!
April was a tough month with the exception of going to Virginia. I had a great time with my family and my good friend Teresa.
The rest of the month was disappointing--I felt attacked- and I feel a different dynamic that I am not sure about. I had a situation with a landscaper that turned into me losing my money --getting taken advantaged of -victimized and it was so very upsetting- this has been going on since the end of March and here we are with my yard still not done yet. Its very frustrating as I reach out to my church for help
and people there even said-- hey we will help you Amy etc etc and yet I am the one calling to find out if and when it will actually truly happen. I called this morning and the guy told me it was raining and he didn't want his men to get sick yet its not raining and what did he mean 'his guys'? I thought the Iron Men were gonna get together and knock this out for me ..?? This situation has really made me feel
put off and it really shows me who really steps up when action is needed.I don't ever like asking for help ...and I can tell you numerous people who have told me Amy if you need anything just let me know....and the funny thing is when I have let them know its been one thing or another. I know people have their own lives and everyone has issues and problems and I do try to understand all of that .....but am I wrong
to count on my church family? Am I wrong to ask for help with Connor? Do people feel I am so strong I can just handle it? I pray and I try my best to help people in need
but why do I feel when I need the help its either no I can't or people will get to me whenever.It hurts and its very disappointing.I prayed and prayed last night.
I need a hug so BAD. The people I thought would step up haven't. Its real easy to say you are going to do something but when the action is needed stories seem to somehow change---Why is that? How can I not take any of this personal especially when its my church and even some of my friends? I wonder .....its hard....but the Lord has provided so that in itself I am very thankful but there is a part of me hurting.In God's eyes, true greatness is serving others. Where words fail, music speaks.A little love can make a big difference. Love is more than a sentiment, it's putting another's needs ahead of your own. God's work is done by those who pray and that's what I have been trying to do. In closing when all you have is God, you have all you need.

Flashback Friday

2009-03-27T15:48:00.001-07:00

Kirsten--Kindergarden back in the day

I miss Steve

2009-03-27T15:21:00.000-07:00

Here is Friday the 27th and Steve has been gone 8 days now. I am not feeling well today so I miss him that much more!!Connor is counting down the days until Daddy comes home.Connor does things for me all the time to remind me of Daddy. I was driving last night and Connor sat up in the sit real tall and said look behind you Mommy" I am sitting tall like Daddy does this remind of Daddy?". Connor says Mommy I had a dream last night that Daddy was in jail and he broke out and killed all the bad guys.Connor says Mommy since I am man of the house -Can I sleep in your bed?" " What does the man of the house do in your bed Mommy? Mommy can I tell Kirsten to clean her room since I am man of the house? Connor is too funny.
Kirsten put together a dresser for me that I bought Connor and I paid her twenty bucks, but the look on her face of accomplishment when she finally finished it was PRIDE! I don't remember that last time I saw that look.Way to go Kirsten!!Kirsten has been a big help since Steve has been gone. She is so good with Connor. We finally got her a vehicle so I know that is a weight off her shoulders.Kirsten seems to be showing determination and I like it. I feel her and I have gotten closer since she has been home. Its like we are both looking out for each other and it feels good.
I can't wait until we get tattoos together!!:) Kirsten is getting a sunshine on her foot with clouds kinda behind it in purplish color as that is my favorite color. I also used to sing to Kirsten You are my sunshine!!I will be getting the Christian fish that Kirsten designed it will have Kirsten and Connor b-day and my wedding date in script in shape of the fish. I am real nervous about getting it I never thought in a million years I would even want one.
I am hoping I can go to Virginia around Easter to see the family. I miss not being near everybody. I hope somehow I can see Carin -meet her boyfriend -see Olivia -Laura and the boys and Mom and Dad. I hope to also see the Lusczek family --my sister Erin and her family and my brother and his family. I hope somehow to be able to get all this in four days.We will head home the Monday after Easter.Maybe my prayers will bring Steve home early and he can go with us.:) I miss him SO MUCH!!
Just having him home makes me feel safe without him here I hear everything. I notice so much more the things he would do as I am doing them now.I have gained a greater level of appreciation of partnership that he and I have together.He makes me so happy. Keep Steve safe Dear Lord bring him home early to us!!!!

Flash back Friday--Me at 6

2009-03-20T09:19:00.001-07:00

So here I am 6 years old back in the day!!!!!

St Patrick's Day Brunch

2009-03-15T12:37:00.001-07:00

Thank you Joyce and Danisha for your help in the brunch process.
Danisha your devotion on friendships and how God has worked in your life was so touching!!!Joyce your help in setting up--cleaning up --gifts and just knowing you would be there meant so much to me--THANK YOU!!! To think how our friendship has grown through the secret sister ministry is so amazing and so meaningful. Danisha to think where we were a few years ago and I can't even remember what really happened
but I do know now our friendship now has grown to great conversations-biblical advice-
walking-movies-hanging out--and then for you to take T's spot at the brunch really meant a lot!!!You both mean so very much to me and I am so thankful for each of you.
Thank you Lord for Joyce Ottino and Danisha Nutter!!!!

A word of Encouragement

2009-03-13T10:37:00.000-07:00

I awoke this morning with calm in my spirit as the Lord brought to mind His faithfulness. The Lord later brought Matthew 8:26 to mind as I was driving to Costco. In the story, the disciples are all freaking because of a huge storm that is overwhelming them. They look around in fright only to find Jesus resting. They all start freaking out and wake Jesus from what was probably a pretty good nap. He tells them all to relax and stop freaking out and reminds them who He is as He calms the raging storm with only a few words.

The point of the story for me is not that Jesus calmed the storm, but that He was resting in the middle of one! Why would it be surprising that the Son of God, who was present at the foundation of the world, would not be awakened by a storm? Jesus had already established that He was no slouch! It’s as if turning water to wine, raising a dead guy, completely healing a bunch of sick people, and feeding an entire town from a young boy’s lunch box wasn’t enough! Jesus had to once again show them that He was the all-powerful Son of God. A bit irritated, Jesus lovingly chastised His team. He reminded them, again, that fear is not necessary because He was with them.

There seems to be fear brewing across this nation. I have to confess it has crept up in me a few times also. But this morning Jesus reminded me through Matthew 8:26 that the God of all creation abides in me. The same Jesus who calmed that raging storm, who was resurrected from the dead… the same one who God has put in Authority over all things, lives in me and you today. We can rest in that…no matter what storms are in our lives! If Jesus isn’t freaked out in our storms, we don’t have to be either. We can trust that He is in control of all things and that our hearts are safe in His care.
Oh yeah!!!Happy Friday!!!!!

SNOW DAY

2009-03-02T12:52:00.001-08:00

Pictures of fun times outside today!!!!!

Day Off

2009-03-02T10:26:00.000-08:00

Here we are March 3,2009 its hard to believe I haven't blogged in a month...NOT GOOD!
No school-no work today as we have about 10 to 12 inches of snow on the ground.
Its nice to be off and catch up as we were gone all weekend to PA. We took Connor to the Crayola Factory and then to a boat Canal exhibit--HE loved both!!!We stayed at the Holiday Express with Steve's points and got a suite. Steve needed to get out of dodge with the on-going issues at his job. We swam in the pool and I relaxed in the jacuzzi. It was such a blessing to just relax and watch Steve and Connor in the pool.
Steve had Connor swimming in the deep end from one side to the other as he kept moving back and back--it was great. We simply enjoyed each other and it was so very very nice.Sunday we went and saw the covered bridge and Connor got a little history As we went and saw where George Washington crossed the Delaware River etc..We were in the exact house George Washington was in when he made the decision to attack.
Its also been 2 weeks today that I started a diet etc..and I have lost exactly 6 pounds so far. So I will continue to ask for strength and continue on to reach my goal.I know I need to drink more water and exercise more--UGH. I gave up Soaps in the afternoon and have made a conscience effort to spent quality time with God.
I am praying for direction ...like what is the next step for me..and until I can figure that out I will simply work on me.I sent out some St Patrick's Day cards today to a few friends that have truly warmed my heart--and a few postcards to people that have been long over do just to let them know I am thinking of them and praying for them and I haven't forgot them.I received 2 boxes of snow-caps yesterday from my secret sister --one of my favs but I gave them to my friend's kids as I can't eat them but just to know she thought of me and is praying for me means so much. I love this program--Joyce and I were so cut out to run it!!!Joyce was my secret sister last year and I miss her this year already as we are great friends but its a little disconnect since we aren't'secret sisters' anymore ya know. But we must spread the love around!!!!OH YEAH!!!! T-Joyce and I are planning a ladies St Patricks Day Brunch and I am excited---we are trying to keep the ladies ministry a float as we think its important. Praying for direction on that topic for our church.
Praying for my daughter and her direction as well. I feel like she is kinda in a holding pattern in a sense.Praying for my friends in our Best Group Ever as they are so important and so very special to me. They are the kind of friends that look past my broken gate and simply admire the flowers in my garden. I am learning so much from them and I hope becoming a better friend to them as well.
Its funny during this time with God I have focused on Psalm 70 as that is the place the Bible opened on day one ...and I keep going back to it. Trying to read it over and over again and pray on it and hear what God is trying to say to me.
Please God,rescue me!!Come quickly Lord and help me.May those who try and destroy me be humiliated and put to shame.May those who take delight in my trouble be turned back in disgrace.But may all who search for you be filled with joy and gladness.May those who love your salvation repeatly shout-"GOD IS GREAT"But I am poor and needy-please hurry to my aid Oh God--You are my helper and my savior O Lord ,do not delay!

Short and to the point.Always pray about everything!!!! Happy Monday --now I am going to enjoy the snow!!!!

Random Things

2009-02-08T09:53:00.000-08:00

1. I'm seriously thinking of getting a tatoo. The what and the where have yet to be determined.

2. I used to eat liver once a week

3. I had athlete's foot a lot growing up--being the athlete that I was-:)LOVE SOFTBALL AND BACK ON FIELD THIS YEAR!!!!

4. I want to lose 30 pds

5. I enjoy doing yard work

6. I enjoy washing my car

7. My favorite number is 5

8. My CB handle used to be STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE

9. I enjoy giving cards etc....

10.I am big on loyality and respect

Mother's Day Card from Kirsten May 12, 1996--Flashback Friday!!!!!

2009-01-02T18:18:00.000-08:00

May 12, 1996---

2008 over now beginning 2009 with much anticipation

2009-01-02T16:45:00.000-08:00

I rang in the New Year with my husband ..he made us a nice steak dinner with a twice baked potatoes covered with cheese--a salad and bread!!We used my grandma's fine china --champagne glasses and toasted the New Year together. We stayed home and watched Dark Knight together ...we were disappointed Batman was a bad guy in the end.
We were gonna go do some Rock Band with Danisha and Craig but Connor's stomach hurt so we stayed home and simply hung out. Steve has been off since Christmas Eve and its been so very nice!!!!This passing year was tough on my family as my sister lost her house to a fire and its been really difficult. Praise God no one was hurt.Her boys need prayer to work through the circumstances and my sister needs prayer as well for strength and guidance. Praise God my Dad came through all his treatment and all is well!!! Starting our small group THE BEST GROUP EVER--HIGHLIGHT!!This group of friends have been such a blessing in my life and we are starting off 2009 with Breaking Free with Beth Moore and I so look forward to seeing what God does and how the Holy Spirit works through us all!!
We were also blessed to see our daughter Erin get married this past July and gain a son-in-law.We gained a nephew Anthony David born June 24th. Our son started kindergarten and he is doing very well---praise God his health issues all came back okay this year!! I personally feel I have grown in my marriage ...as a Mom...and in my friendships. We got to make some trips to Virginia ...and my parents and my brother and his family all came Christmas weekend this year which was so very nice and means so much! I really miss them and I cried off and on the day they left the entire day.Its tough being the one that is the furthest away from family. Sometimes I feel like I am on the outside looking in ya know. But none the less for my parents to make it here and stay here meant so much and I thank them as I know its such a long drive.
The ladies retreat in Oct was a huge highlight as well for me--Danisha and I hit it off and we are growing closer..we hang out-we are in small group together..we talk..we text..and we live like 3 houses away from eachother so Praise God for that connection.Make-up mirror.......that was SO FUNNY!!! We stayed up laughing and talking that night..Danisha -I -Angela-T and Mary what an amazing memory!!
TRUST was a key word for me that weekend....God kept saying TRUST ME AMY TRUST ME!!
My secret sister touched me so many times this year its so amazing how God works through other people!!
Doing the Bread Ministry has been a huge blessing --every Sunday night we wrap and divide bread up for those of us who are less fortunate--and Connor is involved and has his own job and its been such a warm family thing to do and I LOVE IT!!!!
I feel I have grown closer with our daughter Kathryn...its been a process but I truly feel this year her and I had a break through and I am so thankful!!!
I pray for direction for my daughter Kirsten as she just turned 20 a few weeks ago
and she is at a crossroads. She is so smart and so beautiful and I pray she sees herself as God sees her!!
I have caught up with a ton of folks on facebook I haven't talked with in forever and its been nice catching up and remembering....memories....

Lord I thank you for the wonderful man in my life.Help me to love and know him as you do and to appreciate the many gifts you've given him--teach me to understand all the blessings of life and love that you have given us and I strive to become the woman he deserves!!I am so grateful for him!!!I pray you will keep him safe as things just keep getting better and better with him!!!

I am excited for this year 2009---family--friendships--I see a lot of growing--I see healing--I feel the love ---TRUST--TRUST --TRUST!!!!

Enjoying the Season

2008-12-20T15:49:00.000-08:00

Here we are five days away until Christmas. Today --Steve -Connor and I baked cookies--made some puppy chow--made more cookies and then frosted half of them. This all took about 4 or 5 hours but we had Christmas music on --I danced with Connor--I would come behind Steve and hug him and kiss his neck--my phone rang and it was my brother and I chatted with him about 30 mins --I took pics ...it was a very enjoyable day.As we sat down for dinner about an hour ago I thanked Jesus for this season and for helping me enjoy it. Even when I have shopped this year I have taken my time and I have had fun. As I have stood in line I have talked to people--I have smiled --there truly has been no stress. I received some shocking news last week that had me in a emotional state but even through the tears I was talking to God and He was helping me in so many different ways. I am still concerned over the news but I am truly taking it one day at a time and enjoying it as I promised myself I would on Nov. 1st as I put up my first Christmas tree in the house with all my grandmother's homemade ornaments. This year my Dad and Mom are coming for the first time during Christmas.That in itself is such a special gift.My brother and his wife and their 2 kids are coming as well--and I am so looking forward to just spending time and hanging out. Christmas Eve we will have our traditional fondue -with Kathryn and Jose-and my Mom and Doug and then the four of us. We will exchange gifts and hang out.On the 23rd my small group the Best Group EVER will gather round the table for prayer-appetizers-fellowship-we will celebrate my special friend Joyce's b-day as she was born on Christmas day and she is such a GIFT!! We all picked a name out of the bowl and we are suppose to hand make something for that person---so its gonna be so much fun!!The other night I went and saw my friend Cassie perform in a Christmas program--and all these kids have special needs and it was such a blessing
and touching to my heart.I went to her school the day after and took her around to buy stuff in the cafeteria and overall its been a FEEL GOOD kinda season.I know Jesus is the reason for the season and simply by slowing down... making myself that promise on Nov.1st-...asking God for His help every day.....I truly have been enjoying the season!!!!Thank you Jesus.Continue to grow me.....

Kirsten's birthday

2008-12-15T10:58:00.000-08:00

Today my baby girl turns 20 at 9:09pm tonight!
I celebrate Kirsten today !!!
Kirsten is such a gift and a blessing to me!!
She is a wonderful daughter--amazing sister- and also a friend to me.
We have been through a lot together these past twenty years --and through it all we have a special bond. I love her so much and I am so very very proud of her--we will sit tonight and celebrate Kirsten over her favorite meal--turkey-mashed potatoes-cranberry sauce-sweet potatoes-green bean casserole-rolls-fruit salad-and a special cake from Coldstone!!!YUM!!!YUM!!!YUM!!!!

Christmas 2008

2008-12-08T15:14:00.000-08:00

This is our real tree in our living room--we celebrate Christmas morning in this room
and the tree turned out so beautiful!!!

This is a tree in Honor of my grandmother it goes up Nov 1st and its the last to come down--a lot of ornaments on the tree were handmade by her and I miss her so much. I have seen her and felt her through others though and its amazing!!

This is my snowman tree--all blue-silver and white!!

Happy Birthday Jesus!!We love Christmas and we love YOU!!!!!

Dollar Store Prayer

2008-12-05T17:06:00.001-08:00

So tonight Connor and I went Christmas shopping at his school as they had holiday shopping for the kids. He got some items for others in addition to a little car for himself that had a cool key that went into the back of it.He paid for his items and then we wrapped them together. He was more interested in this little car he got with the key as I was trying to keep him focused. Anyway I ended up purchasing this apple cake on the way out as we have a brunch to go to on Sunday I just needed to go to the dollar store after and get a Christmas plate to put it on. So off we went to the dollar store and Connor insists on bringing his key into the store. I said Connor I'd rather you not but its your key and its your responsibility so you decide--he took the key in with him. He immediately wants to go to the toy aisle as he still has one dollar left in his wallet. He was looking around and then said Mommy I just noticed I don't have my key--I said Connor I will look with you but I remember our talk ?? He said Mommy I just had it in my hand I don't know what happened. I said Connor I am sorry but you have your toy now we need to go look for my plate. As we were walking he folded his hands and began to pray out loud..Dear Jesus please help me find my key please help me I love you Jesus.....it was SOO CUTE. I found my plate and I said okay Connor lets go look one more time down the toy aisle ...we got there and Connor went right to the spot and bamm there was the key. He said Mommy Mommy Jesus answered my prayer..HIGH FIVE!!!I told him I was so proud of him and yes Jesus heard his prayer.
We paid and walked to the car and Connor said Mommy how did Jesus know where my key was and I said Connor Jesus knows everything and when we are good to Him, He is good to us! Connor was so proud Jesus answered him and I am so proud of my son.On the way home we listened to Christmas music ...and the song came on I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas ...and Connor says Hey Mom I know that guy who sings that song--he has dark hair and he is skinny like me....and I said Wow Connor maybe you can pray to Jesus for Mommy to get skinny like you too and Connor said No Mommy I am praying for you to have a baby in your tummy first then I will pray for you to get skinny OK??
I just smiled and said I love you Connor and he said I love you more Mommy!!!
What a great Friday night with my son ----:)

Flashback Friday--

2008-12-05T10:51:00.001-08:00

Kirsten back in the day when she was in kindergarden --Christmas in Belmar --
Kirsten is 6 and she is wearing her lawyer jacket--it was her favorite!!!!!

Cassie

2008-12-05T09:37:00.000-08:00

This is Cassie and her Dad
I have been taking care of her a full year now and it has been such a blessing.
Cassie is very smart-funny-a hard worker and has such a caring heart.
She turned 21 a few months ago and will be graduating this June. She received the gold medal award for Girls Scouts this year. She works at Foodtown,JCC and TJ Maxx.
I am so blessed to have her and her Dad in my life. Cassie helps out at her church in Neptune and is a inspiration to others. I have a lot of memories that stand out with her over this past year---she has helped me at my other job--we have prayed together--we have shopped together--we have walked together-we have done puzzles together-we have played wii together-we have eatin together -we have gone to movies and church together ......but the moment that stands out the most is going to see her Mom's grave when we found out some people had vandalized the site--we stood there and we touched the wall and we said a prayer.....and she said to me you know Amy you are like a Mom to me --Thanks!! I can only hope and pray my influence on her life gives her just as much joy as she gives me!!!!THANK YOU CASSIE !!!I LOVE YA!!!

When Godly People Do UnGodly Things

2008-12-02T18:47:00.000-08:00

So group tonight was a learning curve for us all. We discussed things out loud with one another and being with 8 females sometimes things can get complicated. We all were open and honest and shared our feelings out of love. It is sad some feelings had to reach a certain level but in the end as the night went on you could see and even feel things begin to work themselves out. Confrintation doesn't have to be bad.
We all grew tonight and moved each of our friendships up a notch I think.We all love eachother and you could really feel that tonight even through some rough discussion.
God does bring good out of bad. We went to the enemy's camp and took back what he stole from us---OH YEAH ! We may not be perfect but we are growing and we are moving on up!!!!!I am so thankful God knitted US ALL together.Thank you Lord for being so forgiving and working in and through us all!! We are indeed the BEST GROUP EVER!!

Thanksgiving Eve

2008-11-26T10:02:00.000-08:00

I slept very well last night PRAISE GOD!!!! Prior to going to sleep The Best Group Ever was here for our weekly meeting and we ate--we talked--we laughed--we cried- we revealed blessing from our blessing bowl from Feb-2008 until recently--the night was filled with the Holy Spirit!!!The night ended with 2 friends T and Danisha and we sat and talked after everyone else left and we prayed together!!Afterwards I felt such a sense of peace such a sense of growth and such a sense of excitement of what is yet to come!!!As the alarm went off this morning and I woke up I didn't hit the snooze like normal I got up and immediately thanked God for my special group of friends and the awesome evening He provided! As I got ready I thought about each one of them just as I did before they arrived to my house last night. I thought again about a special memory that has stood out with each one of them. They have all touched my heart and I am so thankful.As I had my devotion it says --The ability to believe God develops most often through experience.Faithful yesterday,He will not be unfaithful today.Lord God,help me to remember You when I go to bed.Occupy my thoughts through the watches of the night.Because You are my help,I sing in the shadow of your wings.My soul clings to You: Your right hand upholds me. You are the One who hears prayer.Blessed are those You choose and bring near to live in Your courts!I am filled with the good things of Your house!!!!!
Its been a feel good thankful blessed day!!!!!Thank you Lord for all my Gifts from You--I love you!!!!

My husband's birthday--Nov.18th

2008-11-20T09:24:00.000-08:00

I just want to write a little bit in celebration of my husband.
We just celebrated him on Tues the 18th.
One of my favorite things about being married to Steve is watching time deepen those qualities I fell in love with right from the start. It seems like each passing year Steve is richer in the gentle strength and easy kindness that have always been the heart of who he is. He is an amazing husband and a wonderful father. Steve is a good man who just gets better and year after year I keep loving him more and more.
This Jan it will be nine years ago Steve walked into my walk--and I remember before he asked my hand on marriage he asked my daughter Kirsten if she was okay with it first.She was and Steve has taken such good care of her and I and Connor. He raised his daughters on his own.We both sent them and got them through college together and now they have their own lives and we are so proud.
Steve has a special relationship with Connor as his one and only son.

He is so proud that his name WINTER will carry on.
I am so blessed and honored to be his wife.
I can only hope I can try to out love--out serve--and out give him!!!!!

Leaves

2008-11-12T16:46:00.001-08:00

As I came home from work today a noticed this huge pile of leaves in the back yard.
My husband raked them up and made a pile for Connor.
He took these pics.

As I look at the pics it refreshed my memory of a time my Dad would do the same thing for my brother and I. David and I would jump in the pile and mess them all up and my Dad would rake them into a pile again.Fun times in the leaves...the tradition carries on....Thank you Lord for jogging my memory it truly made my day!!!!

A Simple Yes or No Will Do

2008-11-10T16:33:00.000-08:00

Thoughts on The Sermon on the Mount ---The politics of Jesus message #5.
Math 5:33-37
Be known by your Word--a simple Yes or a No is enough- as to strengthen your promise with a vow shows that something is wrong.
Do you know that people lie 91% of the time? Do you know that a white lie is really black?
I wonder how many of us tell the truth all the time? As I was listening to the sermon I was thinking of confronting someone who I have felt weird about on more than one occasion--thinking if she heard this message which I know she did than a simple yes or no would do for me.I thought wow what a perfect 'IN' to start the conversation with rather than just out of the blue directness as some people just can't handle my directness. So anyway I led into the question and do you know I got ever answer in the book rather than just a YES or a NO.So as she finished telling me how great I was I simply said can you please just answer the question with a YES or a NO----and you know she couldn't or at least she didn't instead just spoke of
good qualities-greatness-my service blah blah blah. I left and went in my car and started to cry thinking wow how sad she couldn't say 'YES'.----My other friend that was there text me and said are you OK---and I said I am sad she couldn't just say 'YES".

2008-11-09T13:26:00.001-08:00

Remembering

2008-11-08T14:46:00.000-08:00

As I post the picture of my brother and I when I was 3 and he was 4 its tough to
remember that exact time.I seem to only remember a burgendy house in Alexandria VA and a fenced yard.Its weird because my brother and I have the same issues with remembering stuff growing up----we really don't remember much. Everyone seems to have all these cool stories and traditions etc....I remember my favorite Christmas gift was a doll called "Baby Come Back" and me and my friends on the block all had one.She was my favorite because it didn't matter what you did or what kind of mood you were in she always came back to me.I remember a blue bike with a banana seat as my first bike and my Dad teaching me how to ride it.I remember being a majorette in a parade and being able to twirl a baton like no other.Me and my little outfit it was so cute.
I remember arguing with my brother and when it was over we always had to hug eachother and tell eachother I love you. I remember family bible story night on Friday night -we all sit in the living room and Dad would read a bible story out of this big thick hard cover white book.I remember the doucle decker McDonalds in Sterling Park and we would go on Friday nights or Sunday after church. I remembering sharing a room with my sister Carin and she snored so I put a pillow on her head and I got spanked BIG TIME!!I remember my dog Sam.I remember softball--love it love it love it!!I remember an allowance of 2 dollars a week and I did a lot and got the white glove exam afterwards and if it wasn't right I'd do it again. I remember eating liver and bacon once a week.I remember sandwich bags over my hands and feet in the winter before I went out in the snow.I remember always having a comb in my back pocket with the handle sticking out.Washing the cars with Dad was always fun.
I loved the AWANA program. I wish we had one around here for Connor.But basically I remember bits and pieces and I think with my daughter she can only remember bits and pieces as well and I wonder what Connor will remember? I hope they both know more than anything I am a guarantee for them and I love them more than they will ever know.Its funny as I look at that picture with my brother I am only 3 years old and when Connor was only 2 I wrote him this poem for his birthday--
My my my-What a big boy you've become!
Seems like only yesterday,you had just turned one.
Today is your birthday,the sign of another year passed.
It's hard to believe,you're already two
You're growing up so fast!!
The day I found out you were coming
my eyes were filled with tears of joy.
God had given me the greatest of gifts,
when I learned that you would be a boy.
Now as I watch you run and play,
or you blow a kiss at me then smile,
I can't help but wish I could keep you thus young
at least for a little while.
Oh how you love to play with doors!
And your favorite word is 'yucky'
So may memories for me to hold onto.....
Rarely in life have I ever felt so lucky.
Before you know it,it'll be girls and a car.
Maybe you'll be a great athlete,perhaps a movie star!
No matter where fate takes you,wherever you may roam,
Never mind the reasons;right here will always be your home.
For today you have Elmo,or another favorite toy
For now we laugh when you tell us "NO"
But you will forever be "my little man"....
Happy Birthday from Mommy
who loves you more than you could ever know.

Flashback Friday/Saturday

2008-11-08T14:43:00.000-08:00

My brother and I 1970
David is 4 years old
I am 3
Back in the Day

My neice and nephew

2008-11-03T07:52:00.000-08:00

Here is photo of my neice Alyssa and my nephew Anthony!!! Aren't they the cutest??She is 20 mths and he is 4 months.I miss them and love them so much!!!

Praying for the one you'd rather not

2008-11-02T16:54:00.000-08:00

We are doing Sermon on the Mount series at church and last weeks project was to pick someone in your life you'd rather not pray for--or someone that is really hard for you to pray for--
I picked my husband's ex-wife and I have prayed for her almost everyday this past week.
Its been tough over the past 9 years seeing the hurt and disappointment on her kids faces. Broken promises -doing for one and not the other. Not helping with college and even still to this day we get phone calls from creditors looking for her here--this started about 6 months ago. Now you tell me why all the sudden now after eight years do people she owes money to have our phone number? We have put ourselves on the no call list and yet now someone with this harassment it has opened a black hole for other telemarketers to call our house. Its just very annoying --we have even got mail and Fed-ex packages for her here and she has never even lived in NJ.UGH....my step-daughter got married this past July and we were all in the same place together for a few days. It was difficult even being her in presence. I walked into a room once during this time and she was sitting on the arm of a chair my husband was sitting in....UGH
Another time she said to me keep my daughters out of my financial issues and I said KEEP US OUT!!She told me I had nothing to do with it and it was none of my business--EXCUSE me but anything with my husband or my step-kids is my business --SORRY!!! She has sent me nasty emails since we have been back home and I just would rather not pray for her. She has done so much harm and now every time my phone rings we have to screen our calls because of her.
So I chose her to pray for as if I am honest she is the last person I would want to pray for-
I have also prayed for myself towards her to somehow soften my heart. I am not sure if there is a change or not but I know deep down it is the right thing to do.

Flashback Friday/Saturday

2008-10-25T15:47:00.001-07:00

Connor and Kirsten --my Beautiful kids 2 years ago----10-25-06

Sweetest Day

2008-10-18T13:34:00.001-07:00

So here we are on Sweetest Day and my husband comes home in a little over an hour after being gone all week.We always remember Sweetest Day for eachother its like a mini-Valentines Day.
We will go out to dinner as family and then come home and catch up from the week etc...
A friend of mine said she bought her husband a sweetest day card today it was the first time in a while and it makes me wonder how many people truly even celebrate Sweetest Day? I think its awesome my husband and I do.--:)...... Don't hate......
Connor is so looking forward to seeing his Daddy. Connor said Mommy I got some bad news though I am not going to be able to sleep in your bed. He is too cute!!!
Well its been a good week---more people hanging out ...me going out a little..enjoying connection .. its nice to do me!!!
I look forward though to husband time and family time and connection more in a different way for the rest of the weekend. Its all good!!!

Sermon on the Mount Series

2008-10-16T09:43:00.001-07:00

We are doing the sermon on the mount series at church and then a discussion on it in small group--aka--BEST GROUP EVER --Tues nights at my home!!
The Beatitudes--
My focus this week is meditating daily on Matt 5:1-12
Specifically--God blesses those who are hungry and thirsty for justice,for they will receive it in full.God blesses those who are merciful,for they will be shown mercy.
These two are my focus this week.

Quote for the day:
Connor talking to his Daddy on the phone this morning
" Daddy I had a dream last night and the dream was YOU WERE HOME"

Ladies Retreat Weekend of Oct 3-5th 2008

2008-10-15T13:05:00.000-07:00

So I have decided to join the blog world--YEAH!!!
I had some amazing times at the ladies retreat in Keswick,NJ.
I had connection--I heard from God --I heard His Voice!!!!
The theme of the retreat was" Glorious Vessels in the Potter's Hand"
God did meet me there and He spoke to me by His Spirit through His Word.
I learned we need to be yielded vessels
We need to present ourselves to God Daily--Ask Him to prepare us for the day He has for us.
Honor His Word-If you want your faith to grow you have to get into the Word.
Must be attentive and receptive--learn to hear His voice-Isaiah 30:21
Respond to God rather than react to our circumstances!!That's a big one for me to look beyond the situation--because whatever is happening or not happening God is allowing it for a tool of some sort.
We prayed-we sang--we laughed -we broke into small groups and had quiet reflection.
We watched a heavy lump of clay turn into a glorious vessel--through wedging-wetting-waiting-gentle pressure-adding-cutting away--waiting again-bone dry stage-point of no return stage-waiting -glazing -Fire-to a completion of a beautiful piece. As I watched the potter on the wheel
she was constantly at work--the clay had to be centered-it was a process-different levels-different speeds-she was gentle and patient-some parts went away--others were added-
and I am a vessel in the Potter's Hand--I am formed with love but still with flaw and crack.
I crumble,thus His work is never done.So patiently He always takes me back.Life's ups and downs have broken me at times -But still my patient Potter makes me whole.His never ending love and gentle hands repair the damage of life's bitter toll. As I look back at my life I have gone from poverty and pain-single parent -lonely and I struggled to finding new love -new hope-He heard my cries.I have amazing children and a wonderful husband-gifts from God.Thus He gently restored my course. I thank you Potter for your constant gifts-I'll strive to do the best I can do. I place myself in the Potter's Hands-He brings endless love.
Two points stand out from from this retreat-one is I heard His voice saying to me TRUST ME AMY TRUST ME AMY--He wants me to really know His love He has for me--He wants me to really feel it in my heart-He wants me to see myself as He sees me--a glorious vessel!!Psalm 40:1-5.This was the first time in a LONG time I actually heard His voice--I feel the nudges
I can see red flags-I'll get a feeling -but hearing Him out loud as been rare--and I even spoke to a friend about it the night before and then the very next day--I HEARD HIM!!!! and He heard me!!!:):) HOOAH!!!!!!
Second point is a sense of connection and growing closer with the small group God knitted together at the retreat. We had some break throughs-we had some healing-we held hands in a circle all our knees together and prayed and cried together.I could feel the Holy Spirit moving in us and through us all.It was AWESOME--YIPPEE SKIPPY TIMES!!!! We would stay up late -and laugh and talk and laugh and talk-It was all the touch of the Master's Hand at work--and I am encouraged and uplifted--He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ!!We are all in the work of Your Hand!!!